Sometimes it makes me wonder if there’s something wrong with me. I never wanted to be in this position in the first place. All I needed was some “experience”. I am a Nurse. No, I’m not expecting to receive any amount while I’m here, while I am working in what most of the employers say poorly managed workplace. Just like what most fresh grads say… EXPERIENCE is our key.
Last night was only one of the three instances where I just wished I would have the power to magically vanish. They may not know it but I know better. It’s unfair. Being talked about by the SAME PEOPLE without the choice to voice out… to explain. It’s unfair to know that I don’t have the freedom, I don’t have the choice to explain why or how it happened knowing the fact that once I open my mouth, every one of them would eat the hell out of me. Yes, they’re my seniors… they should know better, but unfortunately they don’t have the brain capacity to weigh the situation.
What am I? I am the newbie, and they say I’m the chief’s fave but I doubt that. I have scheds more than the senior relievers but I thought they didn’t want to be in my place. Who wants to be? No, I am not working as a nurse. This is not what nurses do. I may be payed, but this isn’t worth it. It hurts how I’m being talked behind my back. It hurts overhearing something and not being able to say they’re wrong, and not being able to say that I want them to hear my side. It hurts to hide in that corner and just listen to them talk about me like there’s no tomorrow. Again, I don’t have an option. Or maybe I have… to be quiet and be meek about everything, I guess that’s the only choice I have.